7. A Serbian Film (2010) ★★☆☆☆

Watch at your own risk. P considered it as mentally scarring and indeed it was. It made me question humanity. And NO, NO GIFS for this!

8. Love Wrecked (2006) ★★★☆☆

I so badly want to watch it back when I was high school and a total sucker for chick flicks. It was also a time when Amanda Bynes is my epitome of role model. (I loved her because of She’s the Man! Sorry, I’m not sorry)

A plotline where you get stuck on an island with your celebrity crush is intriguing and interesting. (C’mon t’was like one of your fantasies) The 15y/o me dig that! Several years…4 years after, I got to watch it. And it was  C-O-R-N-Y! Jonathan Bennett a.k.a the-guys-who-looks-sexy with-his hair-pushed-back from Mean Girls is such a dork. :)

9. Dear John (2010) ★★★☆☆

My cousin coerced me to read the book and watch the film. Since it’s Nicholas Sparks, what do you expect? I liked the book better. And at least the movie has an alternative ending which I prefer better.

10. Liberal Arts (2012) ★★★★★

You’ll know a movie is good when I have nothing much to say to it.

 What happens after you graduate from college?

When you need something real, Go.Watch. It! Inspiring.

Day  2

We started the day with self-awareness. It’s a must that every student nurse must know their selves first before interacting with the patients. We did this by sharing, which I’m not really comfortable with. I don’t want to elaborate more on that but I cried. Lol! It was actually tears of joy. My group mates are teasing me about it because before my turn to talk, Joan went first. She was sharing about her family and almost everyone in the group were crying except for me. But in truth, I’m trying to suppress my tears by taking deep breaths. And then when it was my turn, I was close to sobbing.

Me: Thankful lang po ako kasi my parents don’t set high expectations for me (iyak)

(sobs in between) kaya in return, I try not to disappoint them…. huhuhuhu     

> the rest I shared is TMI so let’s leave it at my outburst :D<

Only half of us got to do the sharing and since it was the day that we are dreading for because of the Nurse-Patient Interaction (NPI), we tried to persuade our C.I to just finish the sharing and the NPI be moved tomorrow. Of course, our C.I didn’t allow it and said we have to face our impending doom. Deep inside= Oh God!

Nurse-Patient Interaction is basically just an interaction where you establish rapport with the patient and be a therapeutic communicator as much as possible. We were allotted 30 minutes for the activity.

Before meeting the patient, we have to read their charts first. And I swear, I had never seen charts that thick!! It’s like volumes 1 & 2 of my med-surgical book combined! The charts are different from the metal charts from the hospital because there, it’s just a long folder with tons of papers inside. Some papers are turning crisp yellow due to age. I also had never thought the patients we will soon encounter have been in the hospital longer than my sole existence. So that explains the ultra thick charts. The front of the chart indicates the name, age, birthday and date of admission (DOA). Some of the patients are named “UW” or Unknown Woman slash made up name. Then some DOAs are from ’60s-’70s. 

It’s sad, imagine having to spend the majority of your life in a mental institution, doing same things every single day. I can’t imagine what I’ll be then since I don’t like falling on same routine. Once in a while I want something to spice up my daily living. I hate to think that the treatment doesn’t do them any better…

The patient I got was diagnosed with psychosis secondary to epileptic seizure. Reading the history added up to my uneasy feeling.

“Naghuhubad”

“Kung ano-ano sinasabi”

“Inuuntog sarili”

“Suicidal tendencies”

But the worst is Dyvie’s patient. (The irony, she’s the one who’s most scared with this rotation)

“Tinagga ang anak at kapitbahay”

After chart reading, our C.I went to fetch the patients. We were left brainstorming on what to say, reviewing different communication techniques, dos and don’ts and other blahs.  I also silently prayed that everything will turn out good. Our C.I got back with 11 patients lined up. Seeing them lifted up my mood. It felt like I was enlightened and got excited to meet my patient.

My patient was Ate Lydia, she’s a petite woman with a voice same as her built. Talking to her felt normal. The whole process is unbelievably easy since I just have to follow up questions to whatever she was saying. Though of course, sometimes I unconsciously respond with “Ba’t…” or “bakit”.  The tricky part is assessing whether the patient’s is telling the truth or even real. NPI ended and fortunately it went really GREAT!! I can’t describe the feeling after the talk. We bonded with the patient’s a bit more while they were eating. Once I asked my patient what she wanted to eat for their merienda tomorrow, she said anything would be fine. I was in touched because she was not demanding unlike what my other groupmates’ patient asking for things. In fact, she kept on thanking me after we bid goodbye. Day 2 ended with a sly smile of fulfillment in our faces for a job well done. It was far from what we expected, but we were really looking forward for another NPI with our patients the next day.    

Today I feel like one of those mentally disordered patients were their activities of daily living are impaired. The only difference is their’s are not by choice. I’m feeling a lot lazy these days. It’s only a week away before our summer vacation part 2 but it still feel miles awaaayy.

 I’m making my countdown.

“3 more days til vacation”

“5 more day til the announcement of BRF line up” 

I just feel so down today. I am getting a little PMS-y and everything around bugs me. (Like: look-at-this-guy-eating-his-crackers-like-he-owns-the-world kind of annoyed) And makes me real sad. The only thing that’s making me happy right now is my tito winning the elections and Jolie’s double mastectomy (Such courage that woman has…I’m in awe). I’m also home alone and though I liked it most of the time, now is not the right time. My family is in Laguna double celebrating for tito’s victory and my cousin’s birthday. I, on the other hand is stuck with a final exam, dogs to feed (when I am too lazy to feed my own- I’ve been indulging with chocolates and potato chips for the last 12 hours), clothes to fold, and paper requirements due on Friday (which I have no intention to do until Thursday). Ugh ugh ugh

I think I’m also going to be sick. I left my umbrella and so I have to walk under the pouring ambon.( I would prefer to be more drenched, though.) Planning to just take a bath when I get home. But when I got home….holy frigggin fishnet! WALANG TUBIG!! Sucks because we were not informed. Water left aren’t even enough to flush the toilet. -______- 

Wala na… unmotivated na nga for activities neglected nadin pati hygiene. Anebenemento?!!!!

1. Intelligence

Not the bookish kind of smart. Well, a bit of it I suppose. But the wise kind.

2. Sense of Humor

“There’s nothing more pleasant than facing the absurdities of life with someone whose got the disposition of a sunbeam.”- Isa Garcia

3. Kindness

“Kindness connects to who you are, while niceness connects to how you want to be seen.” - David Levithan

4. Good values & morals

And the ability to stick with it is a plus. 

5, Passion 

Passion= Purpose in life

A guy who is madly in love with their purpose in life is so damn attractive! 

Guys with passion was so sure of their place in the universe. They’ve got plans, goals and an unstoppable fury to make it happen even if means staying  thorough the dirty work. They believe in the virtue of the long haul.

(Felt the urge to post this now. It has been on queue far too long)

Several blog posts are made up of journal entries from the most unique month of my life. Please excuse the mistakes I made. (Grammatical or even me being judgmental, etc)

It has been a long time since I last wrote here. Partly because I was busy with school and my duty. When I tried to look back the past weeks, I realized that it all happens and passes really quickly. Last 4 weeks was my first exposure to Philippine Orthopedic Center.

Nearest hospital to have my duty on since it’s only a 15 minute ride from school. But of course, I’m not really glad about that since our call time is 6am. Meaning, I have to leave our house at 4:30am. Out of 5 duty days, my alarm failed me thrice. Thankfully, I was able to catch up on the 15 minutes grace period.

We never really get to handle patients there since most of the patients have sensitive cases. One wrong move (literally) can cause severe complication. When we toured around the hospital, most of the cases there are due to motorcycle accidents. From then on, I’m trying to be cautious with it. For our case presentation, our patient was a pediatric client with Pott ’s disease. (TB of the bones) Since Pott’s Disease are sometimes asymptomatic, signs and symptoms only manifest on the late period. His condition was aggravated when his schoolmate pushed him on the stairs that then leads to an injury in his back, affecting his spine. It pains me to see him. I never get so much contact with him but based on my other group mates that was assigned to interview him, he was witty and a smart kid. Unfortunately, due to his condition, he’s lower extremities are paralyzed. He’s also skin and bones. I just wish that by now, I hope his papers are being fixed so he can have the surgery.

During the tour on the ICU, there was this patient who has been there for 11 years. I’m not really sure about his/her case but our C.I said it’s something in the cervical spine. During the remaining tour, I can’t help but still think about that patient. I also wondered about the caretakers, on how they have their faith intact and the hope that in time, the patient will get better. 

The Ortho rotation really made me wallow up with so much sadness but I never knew that on the next rotation, I’ll be feeling more of it.

National Center for Mental Health

The closest hospital to our house. Funny how I describe the hospital by the distance from our home. But anyway,  less time to commute and less pamasahe is nice. (What?!)

Day 1

It was our orientation day but since it was the first Monday of the month, we heard mass first. Nothing special except that we saw some mentally ill patient for the very first time. They were also attending mass. They all wear the same bestidas. One group looks normal young-middle adult women. While the other group is mostly elderly. They have make-up on but it was not perfectly done. Nevertheless, they’re all behave naman. NCMH was like a village because it’s so spacious. We were assigned at Pavillion 5. It was a woman pav. The pavilion doesn’t look like a hospital or like a ward. Instead, it looks like a house with a garden and staircase inside. I forgot the conditions of the patients situated at the pav. When we first entered the pavilion, there were 2-3 patients roaming around the area. Sometimes they stop to wave at us and we wave back. It was really a continuous cycle of waving until our C.I scolded us saying if we never stop, they will never stop waving, too. Haha! Actually, it made me feel light when we were inside because there was this upbeat music playing- which I guess is part of the therapy. I even joked that I feel at home. I feel like I belong there. Lol! As we went inside to the activity area, we’ve passed one patient sitting on the floor eating and we noticed that the food where she’s eating on is at a dog food container. (IDK what it’s really called…) Yes, not on a plate.

As we walk along further, there was the nursing station and also rails. Like those on prison. The room er’ the cells were divided between small/ big hole. On the Small hole, it’s a smaller cell with patients that have more severe condition, aggressive idk how they classify it. While on the big hole, the lesser aggressive, I guess.  The patient’s all look alike because they’re hair was cut really short. Or I guess it was really shaved and then grew short.

When we first enter the activity room, excuse my word but it smells unpleasant. It smelled like a wet dog’s fur mixed with zonrox. But it’s bearable so it’s ok. Our C.I then started to discuss about the activities for the next day when we would hear occasional shouts/scream/ kalabog.  It was quite funny because every time that happens, she will stop talking and all of us are wide-eyed, all looking scared and nakikiramdam. Even before our exposure to Mental, we’ve been expecting the worst scenarios already. So imagine the look on our faces. Hahaha!

Me: Gusto ko nang magkaron ng boyfriend!!

Mn: Piliin mo yung lalaking may interes sayo

Ag: Tska piliin mo yung tipong ipupush ka pa pataas. 

Not the actual/ literal conversation but it’s still the same point.

P.S 

P, dahil Misaki peg mo kahapon…anong masasabi mo? haha

* I’m always cranky every after duty. I don’t know if it’s because of being in the hospital or just the C.I per se.

* Because of that…it made me question my existentialism in my course. Lol

* I stumbled upon this passage about doing something you’re afraid to do…

*  Being in the hospital scares me. Ironic huh? It is scary in a way i don’t know what to look forward to. I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know who will my patient be and the severity of their case. But after the first rotation this summer, I learned that taking too much effort being paranoid with these things sucks up my confidence as a nurse. Our C.I, though he didn’t made it to the likable list, taught me to trust my knowledge, my skills, my ability to interact with others and most importantly, myself. 

* Is it possible to feel uneasy at a certain place and yet you feel like you belong? (‘cos for me it is..)

* Nursing is way beyond my comfort zone. It actually takes me to extreme. So I guess, I’m doing the right thing. 

Let me share this motivational piece I’ve been living with for the past few weeks.

Dear Future Self,

                Hi! I am your 19 year old self. And right now, I am stuck doing a reaction paper of some journal I had zero interest on. You, my future self would probably tell me that I should look for one that is easy to understand and had at least tad interest on. But as of now, I would say that it’s hard to look for journal articles, ok? I’m sorry that I started this on with my school work. I just don’t know how to start this letter.

I don’t know what you have become while reading this. Heck, I don’t even know what you are doing before reading this letter. But I hope that you are doing something that makes you happy. I hope that you have become someone whom you imagined yourself to be. Confident, clever, compassionate, strong, loving and most of all contented. Life is hard…that’s what I learned after my 19 years of existence but I also learned that it just depends on your perspective of it. It is just a matter of how you handle it. I hope that you are still the most optimistic woman for a pessimist you were before. I hope that you haven’t succumbed to bitterness, cynicism and defeat of life. I hope that you still love life. And or even more passionate about it.  

Ttyl.Gbye.

March 31, 2013 

I’ve never been to a lot of concerts to know what a good one is but I believe that I had so much fun during #3 The Script tour in Manila. Simply one of the best nights to come.

On the first concert of The Script back from 2011, I was in front of the computer mourning. Reading live tweets of people watching the concert was a torture. It was also painful to see the videos the night after and then I thought to myself that I would never miss this again, if they ever come back. And I’m beyond happy that they did. 

I don’t want to be one of those people who make false hopes. When I say I will, I have to be sure that I would. 

Months before the concert. In the midst of fast solding out of tickets…

Dyvie: Sigurado ba kayo na manunuod tayo? Kasi ako siguradong sigurado na.

Kath: Oo!

Me: Gora!! Kahit GenAd lang basta nandun tayo! *All giddy

(Still thanks to Joan for supporting our endeavors by giving financial support. Lol)

That’s all for the back story. Now let’s get it on!!

View from our spot. Quite nice noh? You can’t only see the stage but the whole Araneta as well. Hahaha

On farthest of the farthest seats waiting for the concert to start with my trusty specs.  

One thing I’m sure of…Manila audience are so good with singing along.  Hearing how our voices resonate inside the coliseum got to be one of the best sounds ever. I can say that The Script are in awe too. As Danny said, “This is an amazing, amazing night for us. You guys are great singers than I am, for God’s sake, amazing.“ 

Danny interacts with the audience so many times I can’t count it with my fingers. During “We Cry” he let one audience in front to sing while some of us are sympathizing the excitement with that fan, this one guy beside us keeps on booing the girl. Ugh, bitter much! 

Glen (Coco) on the spotlight! hihi

For the mid-concert breather, two bunnies was sent on stage and The Script greeted us with ‘Happy Easter!!’ 

Danny was wearing a Pacman coat and gloves and of course, since you’re wearing the costume, you gotta do the role. 

The Script trying to knock out the air from the bunnies but poor Danny! hahaha

Also during the mid-concert breather…

Mark: You don’t give a free beer to Irish people, and I hear it’s the same with Filipinos because they just drink the whole thing

Crowd: Yeaahhh

Mark: So that it is true? alright good.  So you gotta be like Irish people. You got to be honest

Crowd: Yeaaaah (some more)

Mark: let’s see how honest you are…

Crowd: Whooo

Mark: How many in here gets drunk and use the cellphone far too much?

Some raises hand 

(at our spot we don’t get to hear clearly what they’re saying so we just raised our hands as well. )

Mark: That’s just honest. That is good that means you are just like us well more like Danny, he calls anybody.

(And then on 3 beats of the drum Mark and Danny with each bottle of beer chugs up the whole thing straight)

Crowd: (More and more) YEAAAAHHHHS

Danny: I can’t believe I won that one coz’ I didn’t

Mark: Again let’s see how honest you can be…we would love you right now to be as inappropriate as possible with The Script this Easter. Yea, we would love you if you take your cellphones out and call your ex boyfriend/girlfriend and let Danny speak to the phone…

Danny: (gets a pink phone) Hello this is Danny and there are people with me right now. Say hello to everyone…(faces phone to the crowd)

Crowd: *cheers

Danny: I want to sing you a song, so listen…

So yeah that’s the start of my favorite set of the night ‘Nothing’. The lyrics just hit me like I was heartbroken or something I just wanted to cry. So much feelssss :”((( And yes, lucky ex! 

After getting hyped up with the previous sets, they played the romantic mellow ‘I’m Yours’, It’s also the time when everyone got silent and just listening to Danny’s voice

The final bow. But what is a concert without an encore? hihi after a few seconds they got back singing ‘You Won’t Feel a Thing’ & ‘Hall of Fame’

and just when I thought that it’s over…the whole band came back again for the second time for another ENCORE!!! (Encoriception? Okay, nuff’ with inception jokes) They sang ‘Good ol’ days’, the very first song on the concert. It was totally unexpected and the night couldn’t be more perfect. Just Awesome!!  

(Photos from Kath)

My corrupted mind will never look at Josh Hutcherson in the same innocent way ever again…

(If that makes sense but it is an inside joke)